Creating Balance in Parenting and Life
“Balance is not something you find, it’s something you create”
In a world where everything wants our time energy and attention, learning how to choose what gets them is a skill of great magnitude and the utmost mastery.
We asked the question of what is your biggest struggle right now to a vast number of you engaged in the DB community. The overwhelming response from the majority was BALANCE. Balance, although extremely illusive, can be achieved. The thing about balance though is that it is not a “one and done” or even “a few and I’m through” thing. Inventory of our lives must be revisited time and time again. Just because we’ve created balance during one season of our life doesn’t guarantee that it will be prevalent in others.As parents we tend to be pretty hard on ourselves and rightly so; raising healthy well rounded humans is possibly one of the most important undertakings that we will choose in our lifetime. However, beating ourselves up and taking up residence in the Dad/Mom guilt Inn doesn’t serve anyone. Though we’ve all most likely spent our fair share of time there, we wanted to hit you with a few suggestions that could possibly keep the visits there less frequent. At the end of the day guilt is really just coming from the place of wanting to be better. That desire to be better is never the issue, however the application and know how may be, so here are a few pearls that we hope encourage the manifestation of this difficult endeavor towards wisdom.
Quick 6 Balance Fix
PLAN YOUR DAYS: there are 24 hrs in a day. On average We sleep for around 6 to 8 hrs, work an 8 hr day, (and just as a point of reference) eat three times a day with an hr for each. That leaves us with anywhere between 5-7 hrs to squeeze in everything else. If we actually write down, the night prior, what we want to accomplish the following day, it is easier not to get pulled by other things that will inevitably demand our time as well. Becoming more organized not only helps us structure our days but our mind as well.
BOUNDARIES: setting firm but realistic boundaries with our time will help so one enterprise doesn’t eat away at time set for another engagement. It doesn’t need to all be done at once. If you’ve exhausted the allowed time for one pursuit then break and move to the next. Sleep, family time, self care, projects, are all important. Prioritizing is necessary, however it doesn’t mean that higher priorities should syphon all our time.
KNOW YOUR LIMITS: it is vitally important that we recognize when we are taking on too much. There are certain tasks and demands that absolutely can’t be ignored, however there are others that we take on by choice. Limiting new ventures when the plate is already full will help to keep feelings of being overwhelmed at bay. At times this can be difficult because we may either have a strong desire to do something or feel like we are letting someone down. understanding that “no” is not indefinite, but simply a matter of timing will help us quell that pull and keep us from biting off more then we can handle.
LET IT GO: to have a life with equilibrium means that things will constantly be changing from one day to the next. It is a fluidity that will require frequent checks and redirection of time focus and energy. What one day calls for in a certain area may differ from the next. In knowing this we must be flexible in moving and failing.
BELIEVE: though we may fail at times, often probably more than we would like, it is still important to believe that the days tasks can and will be accomplished. If we don’t within ourselves even believe that balance is attainable then it will be pointless to even attempt. Believing that we indeed can be better during times of failure will give way to our success.
BROADEN THE VIEW: This last one was the game changer for me. So often I find myself thinking about all the duties I need or would like to accomplish within a given day. Many times I come to the end of my day and find that some were unable to be completed. It was the cause of a lot of frustration until I took a step back and stretched the expectation. Instead of a day, I decided to give myself a week. Stretching all the things I wanted to accomplish out over a weeks time allowed me to accomplish more. Although one day would look out of balance, when I offset it by doing other things on different days, by the end of the week things were a lot less unbalanced. I might not have time for meditation on Monday and Wednesday because i also wanna spend time with the kids, but I can get it in on Tuesday and Thursday. Although I wanted to go check on that friend and hang out for a bit on Wednesday I told my wife or mother that I would help them with this, so I’m gonna have to push that to Friday. Broadening the view allows for greater probability to accomplish everything.
There are and will always be little tips and suggestions on how to have better balance in our lives. The truth of it all though, is that
balance is more about us and how we govern what’s going on inside than how we maneuver and arrange the variables surrounding us. If we can strive to better set our thoughts, emotions, desires and spirit in the place of its harmonic homeostasis, then it is my belief that all the things around us will follow suit. No easy task, but let’s choose to be ambitious. Here’s to our endeavors and chasing them until they become reality.
“There is no such thing as a work-life-balance. The balance has to be in you”
Thank you for following and reading.
Let us know your thoughts. How do you find balance?